The Complete MC

Moolah · Post by **Moolah** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 4:36 am

http://www.thecompletemc.com/

Saddingly this appears to be serious, unless I'm missing some sort of meta-joke. On the plus side, I think Mindbender could legitimately benefit from this.

Mansfield Status · Post by **Mansfield Status** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 5:01 am

the editorials are killer

Yung Swizzle: "Dawg I got to say I am 100% happy I found you... you've helped me in so many different areas it ain't even funny... I appreciate all the help I've received from ya."

CHANCE RANDOM · Post by **CHANCE RANDOM** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 5:23 am

kimani · Post by **kimani** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 5:32 am

"You try to learn from your friends but they suck"

Nathan Blaze · Post by **Nathan Blaze** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 9:20 am

OMG

this is gold

ardamus · Post by **ardamus** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 9:34 am

TURBOCHARGE YOUR RAP SKILLS!

samdoom · Post by **samdoom** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 10:31 am

real. funny. shit.

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 12:32 pm

there's not a single sentence in that whole thing that isn't hilarious

Thun · Post by **Thun** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 12:47 pm

How to avoid the most common songwriting mistakes. Even the some of the greatest rappers ever are guilty of these (Rakim and Common are just two examples).

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 12:57 pm

Thun wrote:
How to avoid the most common songwriting mistakes. Even the some of the greatest rappers ever are guilty of these (Rakim and Common are just two examples).

not writing song titles that could subsequently be turned against you in a homo-suggestive manner when you start dating he-bitches is a valuable skill for any mc to learn

PopeyeJones · Post by **PopeyeJones** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 12:59 pm

"We're so confident that you'll learn to rap with The Complete MC, that we're offering a 150% money-back guarantee. Ask for a refund at any time within 60-days and a check is on its way to you - for the full amount plus 50% more than you paid "

Shit is hilarious. The "rappers" name on the last quote on the bottom of the page can't be fucked with either.

"mc monologue your words are for real. i took time to practice following every tip and i must confess yours are applicable. i have battled twice and won already. with you i am a complete mc." -jerry tha vyrus

Thun · Post by **Thun** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 1:01 pm

drizzle wrote:
Thun wrote:
How to avoid the most common songwriting mistakes. Even the some of the greatest rappers ever are guilty of these (Rakim and Common are just two examples).
not writing song titles that could subsequently be turned against you in a homo-suggestive manner when you start dating he-bitches is a valuable skill for any mc to learn

somone really needs to photoshop a "Her Erection" LP complete with tracklisting.

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 1:17 pm

those green lines on the cover could easily be turned into a dick, but i'm not good at photoshop detail work

as far as tracklisting

01. Her Erection
02. I Used To Love H.E.R. P.E.N.I.S.
03. Watermeloninherpocket -
04. Book of Lifestyle choices -
05. In My Own World She doesn't rape me(Check The Method) -
06. Another Wasted Nite With Her balls in my mouth -
07. Nuthin' To Do with women -
08. Cummunism -
09. WOAHMOEKY -
10. Thisismecomingout
11. Orange Pineapple Juice with a splash of Berry Hpnotiq and a twist of lime
12. Chapter 8==> (Bottom Man vs. Top Man) -
13. Maintaining her erection -
14. Sum Shit I Wrote while bent over the couch -
15. Pops up from under her skirt Rap

needs some fine tuning

Employee · Post by **Employee** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 1:25 pm

Module CD 3:
Vocal Technique

Connect Your Voice to Your Emotions

Thun · Post by **Thun** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 1:27 pm

drizzle wrote:those green lines on the cover could easily be turned into a dick, but i'm not good at photoshop detail work

as far as tracklisting

01. Her Erection
02. I Used To Love H.E.R. P.E.N.I.S.
03. Watermeloninherpocket -
04. Book of Lifestyle choices -
05. In My Own World She doesn't rape me(Check The Method) -
06. Another Wasted Nite With Her balls in my mouth -
07. Nuthin' To Do with women -
08. Cummunism -
09. WOAHMOEKY -
10. Thisismecomingout
11. Orange Pineapple Juice with a splash of Berry Hpnotiq and a twist of lime
12. Chapter 8==> (Bottom Man vs. Top Man) -
13. Maintaining her erection -
14. Sum Shit I Wrote while bent over the couch -
15. Pops up from under her skirt Rap

needs some fine tuning

LOL, not bad. Almost there.

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 1:30 pm

04 Book of Alternative Lifestyle choices

more descriptive

Employee · Post by **Employee** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 1:48 pm

Rhyming Dictionary Software
($39.95 value)

With this incredible software, you can add hundreds of new words to your rhymes. It's an absolute necessary tool to turbocharge your rap skills! It's incredibly easy to use. Just enter a word and get multiple words that rhyme.

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 2:18 pm

oh man like water for chocolate is even easier

Dooinit (without a safe word)
The Questions (When's it gunna be my turn to top)?/The Questions (of gender)
Pop's Rap III... All My Children (date men)
The 6th Inch
Time Travelin (aka Ericah doesn't seem that bad in restrospect)
The Light Bondage

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 2:32 pm

Heat (burning sensation around the anus)
Payback is an attractive grandfather
Cold Blooded (open sores)
Thehorniest
A Song for Asstatasandshaft

i'm amuzing myself heartily

Verge · Post by **Verge** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:03 pm

drizzle wrote:The 6th Inch

Nice.
Go take a look at his first album's song titles. Some of them shits are gold already.

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:18 pm

not just the first one either, me and my roomate were going back and forth with these over email today, and we came to the conclusion that 'one day it will all make sense' doesn't need any help at all either

Gettin' Down at the Amphitheater

All night long

is all i got to say to that

Post by **thekeentwo** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:22 pm

Admin Name........... Adam Costa

Admin Email.......... thecompletemc@yahoo.com

i want more infos on this douche stat.... bets he looks like dids crossed with SYM with a splash of drizzle for good measure.

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:29 pm

thekeentwo wrote:Admin Name........... Adam Costa

Admin Email.......... thecompletemc@yahoo.com

i want more infos on this douche stat.... bets he looks like dids crossed with SYM with a splash of drizzle for good measure.

WTF is that shit?

i'm sexy as all fuck

Reason · Post by **Reason** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:38 pm

drizzle wrote:
thekeentwo wrote:Admin Name........... Adam Costa

Admin Email.......... thecompletemc@yahoo.com

i want more infos on this douche stat.... bets he looks like dids crossed with SYM with a splash of drizzle for good measure.
WTF is that shit?

Reason · Post by **Reason** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:38 pm

at least now we all know the secret to lord willin's success

Post by **thekeentwo** » Fri Jan 16, 2009 9:11 pm

drizzle wrote:
thekeentwo wrote:Admin Name........... Adam Costa

Admin Email.......... thecompletemc@yahoo.com

i want more infos on this douche stat.... bets he looks like dids crossed with SYM with a splash of drizzle for good measure.
WTF is that shit?

i'm sexy as all fuck

honeypot.. thats why i said good measure. to give the fictitious character some hope.

<#

provoked15 · Post by **provoked15** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 1:42 pm

Whoever says that battles are strictly freestyle is a liar. Even if
their rhymes arenגt written before the battle, you better believe
they are looking at you and working out ways to humiliate you
before you both get up on that stage.

Here is how you limit that possibility. Whenever Iגm in a battle I
will wear a loud, obnoxious shirt that draws attention (my bright
red T with Bruce Lee on the front is a personal favorite). Other
MCגs who are sizing me up will be formulating punchlines around
that shirt. They canגt help but focus on it!

Hereגs the kickerג¦ When my name is called to go up on stage, I
quickly through a jacket over the shirt. This destroys any
punchline my opponent has about it. If they use the line anyways, I
look out to the crowd and act completely bewildered, as if to say
גWhy is he referencing Bruce Lee when Iגm wearing a brown jacket?ג

The key is to dress loud before the battle, then cover up with
something plain during the battle. The same goes for hair: if you
sport a ponytail or cornrows, throw a cap on right before.

what the fuck are you kidding me? lol.

Fuzzy Logic · Post by **Fuzzy Logic** » Sun Jan 18, 2009 4:04 pm

Whoever says that battles are strictly freestyle is a liar. Even if
their rhymes arenגt written before the battle, you better believe
they are looking at you and working out ways to humiliate you
before you both get up on that stage.

Here is how you limit that possibility. Whenever Iגm in a battle I
will wear a loud, obnoxious shirt that draws attention (my bright
red T with Bruce Lee on the front is a personal favorite). Other
MCגs who are sizing me up will be formulating punchlines around
that shirt. They canגt help but focus on it!

Hereגs the kickerג¦ When my name is called to go up on stage, I
quickly through a jacket over the shirt. This destroys any
punchline my opponent has about it. If they use the line anyways, I
look out to the crowd and act completely bewildered, as if to say
גWhy is he referencing Bruce Lee when Iגm wearing a brown jacket?ג

The key is to dress loud before the battle, then cover up with
something plain during the battle. The same goes for hair: if you
sport a ponytail or cornrows, throw a cap on right before.

Yo Pen, are you listening? haha