interesting.
Conspiracy, you have no idea how bad I want Steven Spielberg and Spike Lee to discover you and sit down and do a movie about you. You are such a marvel of modern magic, medicine and mindstates that I cannot fathom how in the world you exist. You are like nothing and nobody else on this planet, and sometimes you amaze myself.
I will let what I said stand up beside what you said. I hear you, I read you. I don't need to go back and forth with you on this. The few things I'll reply to are:
1) if you think you are going to be in the music business with someone you don't have occasional differences of opinion: YOU ARE NOT IN FUCKING BUSINESS. You are dealing with children who don't stand up for their actual thoughts and beliefs and ideas. You think Biggie and Puffy didn't have differences of opinion? You think Jay-Z didn't have fights with Dame Dash, or most of the Roc? It's childish to think that arguments mean incompatibility. Man, THIS IS ART. No two artists are alike. So when they collaborate, there WILL be differences of thought. MATURE PEOPLE CAN COMPROMISE THEIR DIFFERENCES. Your ego is not there yet. I ain't gonna kiss your fucking ass. Some people have said to me "yo, just meet your brother half way, cater to him, do what he says just so the group can work." MOTHERFUCKER, I have bent over backwards to save your life so much that I can't fathom how much more I could do for you. Fuck this shit, you're gonna learn some stuff the hard way, because of the enormous ego that lives in your head that you remain so oblivious to. You cannot see how much you hold yourself back with your justified drug abuse and your egotistical "professionalism". I'm sorry, but NOBODY else is saying it to you. Just because Crunk Chris is releasing music from Moka Only and Noah 23 on his label doesn't exactly put Legendary Entertainment on the level of what Battleaxe used to be, much less a Stones Throw or a Rhymesayers. Dude, that's NOT a label, he's a CD-R manufacturer. He has not gotten you ONE show, didn't do ONE tour, and I would bet that not only is there no actual contracts, but I bet he has never sent one quarterly royalty check. THAT is what real labels do.
You are not signed to a record label with a negotiated contract. REAL TALK: YOU LIVE IN A FANTASY WORLD AND YOU STILL WANT TO ESCAPE TO ANOTHER, MORE DRUG INFESTED FANTASY WORLD. I'm going to let it all be known. Let's tell the whole fucking truth as BRUTALLY as we lived it. YES I kicked you out my house around 2000... why? Because you were sleeping on my floor for two months, mentally unstable, coming to my job drunk, loitering and trespassing in the bus terminal (which is what you got arrested for, don't blame me for that, man), and then I came to see you in jail, and worked with the family to get your homeless, jobless, directionless life back home to mom where you could heal. And that was in 2000.
Fast forward to 2009, you nearly did the same thing. It's well documented in the Mindbender post in Party and Bullshit, because I wanted to capture the unbelievable truth you were living and lying about. In your mind you say:
Guy, 2 free months on a couch is NOT like lending me $50000, like the way you like to make it sound when you talk about me at your bachelor apartment in 2000. I'm in the wrong place if I can't crash on THE FLOOR and get my business together in a NEW CITY, like I did again when I moved AGAIN to TO in 2009, CHILLING IN THE CORNER of your shit, till I got my money income stabilized better, so I CAN LEAVE YOU.
You think I want to be dependent on you, if you can't even afford to take care of your own bills easily with some extra to lend to a (ex) group member?
ha.
you're something else, man. you're fucking UNBELIEVABLE. nice of you to downplay what I did for you... and i'm glad you said it accurately: "you were dependent on me", because you were. HEAVILY. TOO HEAVY, actually.
I carried your whole fucking life twice, because you couldn't. Don't blame me for helping you as much as I could before I broke myself. That's hubristic egotism on a level that cannot be easily comprehended.
peculiar how you try to minimize and alter the sacrifices I made for you.
do you remember CLEARLY what these situations were? you saying "hey bro, I'm homeless, I just need a place to stay for a few days. 3-4 days tops, before i move out", me being the family member that can't say 'no', so i reluctantly say "okay come stay with me", then you proceed to get on some life sponge shit and you stay in my world displaying no willpower to REALLY fix your own life. BOTH TIMES, you DID NOT GET A JOB when you said you would, you DID NOT pay me the MEASLY money on time that I asked you for, to contribute to everything I was covering. I literally paid for every element you used in your life, from water to electricity to toilet paper to food to housing to the computer you used and the TV you watched. I asked you for THIRTY DOLLARS to contribute when you were here in January 2009. What did you say and do? "Aw fuck you guy, I don't gotta pay, just let me crash." As you fucking drank 40s on the couch and bought $100 worth of CDs from HMV inexplicably, when you could have easily downloaded them from the computer. Dude, you didn't even OPEN half the CDs, they just sat there, disrespectfully, just like you, costing me time, money, energy and sanity that I didn't think I'd have to spend. So here you are, getting drunk, crashing on my couch, buying CDs, when YOU HAVE NO PLACE TO LIVE AND NO JOB. And you said "oh, I'll just be here 3 days." YOU STAYED FOR 33 days before I had to force you out, because if I didn't, YOU WOULD STILL BE FREELOADING OFF ME HERE NOW. You taught me tough love, bro. I didn't want to do a lot of the things you made me choose between, but there is not one person in the world who, when given these two difficult choices, would enjoy either. I cannot enable your egotistical delusional drug dreams anymore. They hold you back from higher success so much, but YOU need to learn that on your own. These words will just fly through your head without landing anywhere important because you think you're right all the time. You justify all your actions more selfishly than anyone I've met. If you think you're right in how you've treated me over the years, down to not even thanking me when I bailed you out of jail... then, Khari Stewart, you must learn. A lot more.
most of this other stuff you say is really neither here nor there to me. anyone who believes it, whatever. I don't even think YOU believe half this stuff you're saying here, Conspiracy. I don't believe in HTM, but I have learned from it, and respect your choice to believe in it. I don't believe Islam or Christianity, but I take the jewels they offer, while also criticizing the problems they create.
and Khari, don't talk to the bitchtime leeches around here like they are near my level or yours.
that statement said it all: "Mindbender stealing my shine in Toronto."
WHAT. IN. THE. FUCK. ARE. YOU. TALKING. ABOUT?
I ain't doing shit but what I'm supposed to be doing.
Maybe you'd have something close to the power and fame I have in Toronto if you GAVE AS MUCH TO TORONTO AS I HAVE. You stay at home, you don't contribute to the hip hop scene, you selfishly wait for people to bring everything to you, and you only come out to get what you want from people, then you retreat back home to your music world and studio. That would be fine IF YOU WERE CONTRIBUTING TO THE CITY MORE. Why do I get in every show free? Why do I get so much love from people? BECAUSE I GAVE SO MUCH ENERGY AND LOVE TO SO MANY PEOPLE FOR SO LONG. You just want to take, you think you are entitled to the top of the game. YOU AREN'T. You are too selfish. Give more of your time to people, and the things you aren't getting in Toronto will start coming to you. Give first, then you will start receiving. You are waiting around for someone to give you before you even give them a reason why they should. I pray you do not forget this thought, because it is the core reason why you have not evolved in your career very fast. You can record 50 albums, but if you don't share them properly in a suitable business fashion, what's the point?
Conspiracy, your ego is the death of The Supreme Being Unit. Time will tell if there ever is a resurrection or reincarnation. If you want to pretend in your mind that the difficulties and disagreements that arose from me saving your life twice is the reason that you left the group... then fool yourself into believing that. In your heart, you know that's 100% bullshit. The rest of this, I will let God, the universe, the public, and the world decide whatever they want. But I sleep good at night knowing I tried my best to save your fucking life, soul and mind, Khari.
Like Aleister Crowley says: "do what thou wilt".
you will see the not so special effects of the spells you have cast, Conspiracy.
I remain truthful and loving. See you in the future.
in reality,
Mindbender Supreme