Illusion-Z LOST & FOUND
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I showed signs of being a motherfucking lunatic at an early age
Years before my mental ward dramas and drunken shirtless rage
In the back of the class sketching broken open and dying bodies
Mutilating insects, mesmerizing grim sex
Had my first collide with Heaven chilling at a dim dinner
That opened up a ripper within me that had to live liquor
Spent the next half a decade running away from sunshine
To huffing grime, to burning broken bridges down for rumbling skies
Vomiting in darkened forest roaring out at angry oceans
Scratching at my attic walls and its imaginary roaches
Breathing evil in a self made cell that I was locked inside
Now, look into the monster's eyes; fathom where he lost his mind
I lost it in a cage of carnage huffing paint and agent orange
I lost it in a wild fire nestling a nine iron
I lost it when I turned that purple-pink and needed pills to think
I lost it when I poured that fifth of Svedka down the kitchen sink
I lost it when that posse from the Southside tried to rob me
Kicked me into the concrete and tried to jack my cash and car keys
I lost it on a Halloween, I lost it out at Catholic mass
I lost it when I turned my back on Jesus for a battle axe
I lost it fucking jacking wallets, mini bongs and calling cards
Swinging out at strangers, starting random beef with bodyguards
I lost it when I saw that virgin vein go grim for them syringes
I lost it where the skeleton cringes high off his mescaline binges
I lost it with the hooligans when drooling in a room of goofy grins
On three day lock down: another fucking looney bin
I lost it rocking headphones when blocking out this dead zone
I lost it in the forest where I lost my shoes and cell phone
So I spit a tooth and lift my dripping face out of the fucking mud
Scrambling for the nearest public restroom to scrub the blood
Cornered in a beach side cafe to nurse the head pains
Then baffled at a bar to set that cycle of the next day
To lose my thousandth battle to the shiny bottle
Skies get hollow, while I throw my tantrums at 'em with that wild bravado
Waking with a paranoia, hiding from the hundred eyes
The only homi left asked if I'm ready for the other side
I reminisce on when they zapped me back to life in hospitals
The pit that I had to drop into to live without my rocket fuel
Close my eyes and walk my body back into them town streets
And retrace my steps into the places where I found peace
I found in the starlight contemplating 50 years in shackles
I found it in the sanctuary tween the crack lab and chapel
I found it out on a boulevard of beaten souls and sad lions
Frozen with a pad and pencil staring down some jazz giants
I found it in a nine to five, found it in a daily struggle
I found it posted with a blaring boom box in a steel jungle
I found in a miracle and by watching all its proof around
I found it in a ghetto park, a pool hall, and a hookah lounge
I found it in a homi's rooftop cypher in the east Bay
I found it smoking Blend 27's and cruising freeways
I found it out in the wilderness, found it in a tragedy
I found it when I had to make amends among the battle scene
I found it zoning out to Wu-Tang, Sade, and Sam Cooke
I found it on that battlefield where I'd smoke and craft hooks
I found it at a festival, I found it in this room alone
I found it in the mortuary, I found it in the studio
I found it...