Sage Whines About Pitchfork Shitting On SFR's New Signees

Employee · Post by **Employee** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:13 pm

SFR has an upsetting announcement to make.

Since signing the UK group, dan le sac Vs. Scroobius Pip, our organization has come under severe scrutiny by the North American resistance. The underground hip-hop scene revolted right away, quite disturbed by this Brit invasion, and the leaders of very important online communities let their voices be heard. Despite our press statements admitting that Angles was more of a fun electro-style album, the SFR office was picketed by traditionalists with silly looking bandanas around their faces and sandwich boards reading "DanVsPip =/= Hip-Hop!" Then some hardcore white guy peed on a girl out of protest, saying he wouldn't stop doing this until we all admitted that women are gross.

The media's attention was successfully diverted by the DNC (see below) and we gladly moved on without much fanfare. Then came the final deathblow...

Pitchfork Media, the absolute leader of all very important online communities, slapped a numerical value on the Angles album one week before its release. For those not in the know, these numerical values are permanent like tribal tattoos and they can make or break a band. We would have been upset with a 5 rating. Mayyybe we would settle for a 7. Instead we got a 0.2. No, not a 2. Move the decimal point over to the left a bit. A zero point two. The title on the front page of their website was "Fucking hell."

This same writer recently gave Coldplay a glowing review and explained how lucky we are to have a band like that at this moment. He gave Puffy's last album an average rating, which is much higher than a 0.2. We're not stating these facts to diminish the writer. Quite the contrary. Coldplay and Puff Daddy are both stalwarts of awesome and that's what hurts the most. A man with great taste has labeled our new project a complete failure. We are understandably polemic and vitriolic about this review.

It doesn't matter that positive reviews have been pouring in from other media sources. You can't counteract a negative Pitchfork review. Not one that hyperbolic anyway.

So we've decided to call it quits here at SFR headquarters.

We've squandered our puny indie label budget on a couple of wankers. It's been nice servicing the public with diverse poetic-based material all these years, but our doors are officially closing. Clearance sale details below.

Peace and Traditionalism,

Sage Francis
P.S. JK!!! OMFG ROTFL PWN3D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:-p

Combo7 · Post by **Combo7** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:24 pm

Press Play >>>>>>>>>>>>>> every white rapper's career combined.

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 4:36 pm

i don't get it, is that album supposed to be a joke thing like party fun action committee?

review is just as gay as the response though:

If you're an American reader familiar with the British hip-hop duo Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip, I'm willing to bet one out of two things tipped you off: you saw that ridiculous name starting the Friday slate at Coachella and wisely chose to sleep in, or you got forwarded a YouTube for their signature track, "Thou Shalt Always Kill". From here on out, you can assume I'm speaking without hyperbole-- "Thou Shalt Always Kill" is the sort of song that makes me borrow something first said about "My Humps", namely that it transcends merely being horrible music and places itself into the realm of pure evil. A wanna-be novelty hit if there ever was one, it consists of Scroobius Pip (yeah, that's the rapper's name) rattling off a litany of "ooh...countercultural!" broadsides (examples: "thou shalt not buy Coca Cola products," "Bloc Party [they're] just a band") that assume absolutely no intelligence from the listener. It's a bizarre target audience this thing courts-- people "elitist" enough to sneer upon corporate brainwashing, yet simple-minded enough to surrender themselves to the ethos of Scroobius Pip.

If it stopped there, maybe they could be brushed off as a minor annoyance, but then Pip sets the scene for the rest of Angles with this: "Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches, and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be." (Never mind that a minute earlier, he deifies Johnny Cash, Jim Morrison, and Jimi Hendrix-- good luck finding no-good women and violence in their songs.) Now, it's bad enough when we hear KRS-One go off on tangents like this, but at least he made Criminal Minded, which included for-the-ladies chestnut "The P Is Free" and had the Teacher GRIPPING AN A-K ON THE FUCKING ALBUM COVER. Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip, on the other hand, have Angles, one of the most musically bankrupt and altogether philosophically fucked albums you'd be wise enough to avoid this year or any.

It's one of those rare occasions where you'd rather them just go with the whole "let's take it back to '88" shticks-- we could just shove them off to the sidestage at Rock the Bells and get on with our lives. But as "Fixed" boasts, "Dan Le Sac versus Scroobius Pip! Here to fix hip-hop, the best we can" (trust me, it's way funnier to hear than in print). How's that? Well, by jacking "Fix Up, Look Sharp", the lone celebratory track from one of the decade's most introspective and compelling rap records, and turning it into a demand that hip-hoppers stop trying to make pop hits and instead "be smart." And remember that it's "art." While there have been plenty of well-considered arguments that look inward at the genre and demand more of its practitioners, more often than not, it's from the perspective of an artist concerned about banking off the advancement of self-defeating racial stereotypes. Here, it just lays down an incredibly awkward subtext as to why the rest of "pop" (read: black) hip-hop owes it to these guys to straighten up and fly right. Did the era Sac and Pip constantly glorify not have just as much, if not more "dumb" party music? Just imagine some asshat telling the Fat Boys that "Wipe Out" was killing hip-hop. Mealy mouthed Pip apologizes, "We think there are some great artists out there, don't get me wrong," but judging from Angles, it's entirely unclear who the fuck they could be possibly be talking about.

OK, rap needs to be smarter. But apparently it, uh, needs to sample "smart" bands such as Radiohead like these guys do. For those interested, "Letter From God to Man" shits out "Planet Telex" undigested, a completely artless grab that flaunts none of the nuance of the Roots and Kanye West when they bit from Thom Yorke. Mind you, these are two popular acts. Way to go, Pip. To be fair, Dan Le Sac tries to be game here, pulling glitch-hop from its staticky grave with cut-up acoustic riffs that sound like that one time I tried to sample Iron & Wine's "Woman King" over a breakbeat and it ended up like Kid Rock (don't ask). An instrumental Angles wouldn't be intolerable.

But it's all ruined by Pip doing his Oliver Twista thing all over it-- because he's so smart, he's gonna enjamb as many words as possible into his verses despite the fact that his complete lack of breath control has him sounding like a pre-teen Victorian bootblack halfway through every line. "I'm not an alcoholic/ I just drink a lot/ I'm a genius/ Or maybe I just think a lot"-- this is how the second verse of "Development" begins before Dan Le Sac mercifully cuts Pip off, castigating him to get on some new shit before he can embarrass himself any further with this train of thought. But he soldiers on-- "I'm not trying to bore you/ I'm just tryin' to be a good role model for you." This comes immediately after an entire verse that quotes from the periodic table and right before he tells you who his role models were-- Chuck D, Rakim, and, of course, KRS, who should probably make it up to PM Dawn by having Prince Be bumrush the show during their next festival appearance.

It's bad enough that these guys pretty much owe their career to Sage Francis (now there's a guy in touch with the roots of this shit) and try to present their version of music as hip-hop in its purest form, but as "Back From Hell" pounds your face like Eminem's worst productions at 245 bpm, Pip spits "when I get back from hell again/ I'm gonna be so elegant/ The relevance of my benevolence is evident." Yup, looks like Party Fun Action Committee didn't ether Paul Barman after all, and now he's back with Mike Skinner's accent and the entitlement of a New Yorker subscriber.

ILL SEER · Post by **ILL SEER** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 5:17 pm

it is interesting when a reviewer gives such a crazy-low rating ... i think it could be a strange psycho-compliment cuz it means the album must have struck an emotional chord somehow ... happened to me when HHC gave me 1/5 for my album ... then Future Music magazine puts it in their Next Big Things section with a 8/10 ... just goes to show music is personal preference

vinylpops · Post by **vinylpops** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 5:20 pm

God i hate that pretentious fuck.

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 5:36 pm

ILL SEER wrote:it is interesting when a reviewer gives such a crazy-low rating ... i think it could be a strange psycho-compliment cuz it means the album must have struck an emotional chord somehow ... happened to me when HHC gave me 1/5 for my album ... then Future Music magazine puts it in their Next Big Things section with a 8/10 ... just goes to show music is personal preference

what a terrible and unsubtle attempt at self promotion

ILL SEER · Post by **ILL SEER** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 5:52 pm

drizzle wrote:
ILL SEER wrote:it is interesting when a reviewer gives such a crazy-low rating ... i think it could be a strange psycho-compliment cuz it means the album must have struck an emotional chord somehow ... happened to me when HHC gave me 1/5 for my album ... then Future Music magazine puts it in their Next Big Things section with a 8/10 ... just goes to show music is personal preference
what a terrible and unsubtle attempt at self promotion

believe me i haven't been promoting that 1/5 but i do think such reviews show a lot about the critic which is why i mentioned it in this context

anyone want to buy a 1/5-rated album?

Xaula Zany · Post by **Xaula Zany** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:06 pm

You thought that was whining? Employee?

I thought it was a response to a silly review and turning it into a promotional tool. Which is why you posted it here I guess?

Personally, I would never have posted about this particular album on this forum as I don't consider it to be underground hiphop. Which is why I never made mention of it here.

For anyone who cares, and I would have posted this link sooner if I thought they did, the text Employee posted is from this:

http://www.strangefamousrecords.com/sfr ... 2008.htm#6

Thanks, love.

Funk Docta Bombay · Post by **Funk Docta Bombay** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:14 pm

I actually checked their myspace because of that review. I violently despise a fair selection of the artists whose asses they lick to so I figured there'd be a chance that this might be good. Didn't like it, but it was worth a laugh considering they bash it for all of the reasons they would have adored it a scant few years ago.

Employee · Post by **Employee** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:30 pm

Xaula Zany wrote:You thought that was whining? Employee?

I thought it was a response to a silly review and turning it into a promotional tool. Which is why you posted it here I guess?

Personally, I would never have posted about this particular album on this forum as I don't consider it to be underground hiphop. Which is why I never made mention of it here.

For anyone who cares, and I would have posted this link sooner if I thought they did, the text Employee posted is from this:

http://www.strangefamousrecords.com/sfr ... 2008.htm#6

Thanks, love.

Basically. I'm perpetually amazed by you and a few other select acts who efficiently utilize the internet to promote your shit the right way.

Whether or not I like your music or anyone else's is irrelevant, I'm simply constantly flabbergasted that you're able to turn a profit with what you do.

So backhanded propz.

iCONtheMicKing · Post by **iCONtheMicKing** » Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:55 pm

Sage put out my down tempo electronica project. Thanks!

your buddy

-iCON

p.s. this is my post #1234.
p.p.s. Slug you have more posts than me.

max prime · Post by **max prime** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:21 pm

"most reviewers are just failed rappers"

Reggie · Post by **Reggie** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:35 pm

fuck a contemporary synth-electronica nouveau rap critic
he talk about it while I live it

PopeyeJones · Post by **PopeyeJones** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:48 pm

Reggie wrote:fuck a contemporary synth-electronica nouveau rap critic
he talk about it while I live it

Y@k Bollocks · Post by **Y@k Bollocks** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 12:15 pm

I was going to post this review, but didn't bother as I didn't think anyone here would have heard of them.

Anyway, they're fucking awful and this review is pretty much 100% accurate. PROOF

Was very surprised to see that Lex and then Strange Famous hooked them up to be honest.

pen · Post by **pen** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 12:32 pm

they are really shitty.

both pitchfork and this homomusic.

cuntface · Post by **cuntface** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 12:32 pm

drizzle wrote:i don't get it, is that album supposed to be a joke thing like party fun action committee?

review is just as gay as the response though.

i unfortunately work in a hipster infested part of london and some of my co-workers play that "just a band" song. it is quite a shit song. 0.2 was generous

a2thaj · Post by **a2thaj** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 5:47 pm

This song has been around all year. I heard it in February and like homie said I "saw them at Coachella." At first I didn't like the song, then I listened to it and appreciated it because it was something different. "hip-hop" or whatever you want to call the majority of even what ppl consider "underground" hip hop music, blows.

This song was refreshing because it was something new in a place of no new ideas and the same gay formula being repeated over and over again.

Fuck the song...ya'll are stuck in a circle.

vinylpops · Post by **vinylpops** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 5:53 pm

shutup.

pen · Post by **pen** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 5:59 pm

a2thaj wrote:This song has been around all year. I heard it in February and like homie said I "saw them at Coachella." At first I didn't like the song, then I listened to it and appreciated it because it was something different. "hip-hop" or whatever you want to call the majority of even what ppl consider "underground" hip hop music, blows.

This song was refreshing because it was something new in a place of no new ideas and the same gay formula being repeated over and over again.

Fuck the song...ya'll are stuck in a circle.

you are very white.

Mindbender Futurama · Post by **Mindbender Futurama** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 6:30 pm

Reggie wrote:fuck a contemporary synth-electronica nouveau rap critic
he talk about it while I live it

i smell the old Reggie returning (NOE HOE MOE)

max prime wrote:"most reviewers are just failed rappers"

my thoughts exactly

Funk Docta Bombay wrote:I actually checked their myspace because of that review. I violently despise a fair selection of the artists whose asses they lick to so I figured there'd be a chance that this might be good. Didn't like it, but it was worth a laugh considering they bash it for all of the reasons they would have adored it a scant few years ago.

hey, it's you! nice to see you back, yo

it transcends merely being horrible music and places itself into the realm of pure evil.

that is funny, no matter how annoyingly pretentious this reviewer is.

he also used the word 'asshat', which always is good for a larf.

pen wrote:they are really shitty.

both pitchfork and this homomusic.

LOL

yeah. i got an open mind to anything, but... this isn't for me.

this song is like that Baz Luhrmann song, with a Dizzee Rascal throwaway beat remix

i don't like it much... but i don't wish failure on ANY artist. there's a fanbase for everything and i respect others who actually have the balls to create their vision of art and give it to the world.

for every shitty rapper, there's a thousand even shittier critics who don't have the grapes to finish a song and put it up for public scrutiny.

anyhoo, this is like British Anticon rap music circa 2006-ish... not really my spot of tea, chap

a million views! see? someone likes them. it's just not us. i can live with that.

peace to Sage regardless... at least he cares

a2thaj · Post by **a2thaj** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 6:51 pm

pen wrote:
a2thaj wrote:This song has been around all year. I heard it in February and like homie said I "saw them at Coachella." At first I didn't like the song, then I listened to it and appreciated it because it was something different. "hip-hop" or whatever you want to call the majority of even what ppl consider "underground" hip hop music, blows.

This song was refreshing because it was something new in a place of no new ideas and the same gay formula being repeated over and over again.

Fuck the song...ya'll are stuck in a circle.
you are very white.

you are typical black?

Im a spic sorry

pen · Post by **pen** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 7:04 pm

a2thaj wrote:
pen wrote:
a2thaj wrote:This song has been around all year. I heard it in February and like homie said I "saw them at Coachella." At first I didn't like the song, then I listened to it and appreciated it because it was something different. "hip-hop" or whatever you want to call the majority of even what ppl consider "underground" hip hop music, blows.

This song was refreshing because it was something new in a place of no new ideas and the same gay formula being repeated over and over again.

Fuck the song...ya'll are stuck in a circle.
you are very white.
you are typical black?

Im a spic sorry

race traitor

vinylpops · Post by **vinylpops** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 7:12 pm

Mindbender Futurama wrote:
max prime wrote:"most reviewers are just failed rappers"
my thoughts exactly

Hmmmm...think about that one closely. Good to see it's all becoming clearer for you though.

HellRell'sToiletAdventure · Sat Sep 06, 2008 7:42 pm

Mindbender Futurama · Mon Sep 08, 2008 12:21 pm

vinylpops wrote:
Mindbender Futurama wrote:
max prime wrote:"most reviewers are just failed rappers"
my thoughts exactly

Hmmmm...think about that one closely. Good to see it's all becoming clearer for you though.

glad you caught that one

cuz that's why i did it.

i'm no failed reviewer though. i continue to have shows, make music, and i'm also signed to a record label.

people ask me to put out more music than i do.

this one dude came running up to me 2 days ago and said "Mindbender! you're the best MC in Toronto!!"... not that it's worth anything, but at least he thought so

i review music cause it's fun to be paid to think. but music critic will not be my life's biggest and best accomplishment, please believe it.

i'm one song away... and that song is about to drop

penguin · Post by **penguin** » Wed Sep 10, 2008 8:01 am

you know i think that he should really be worried about putting that indie hop boy band "the metermaids" in his store.

i was peepin the sfr myspace the other day and saw that they were featured... checked it out... and sure enough... it was THE gayest shit i have ever seen...

how good was that tag team blow job those two gave you to get on your site sage?

Sideways · Post by **Sideways** » Wed Sep 10, 2008 8:23 am

Pitchfork are, of course, pretentious cuntfaces but in this instance they are absolutely right. This shit is horrific.

Moolah · Post by **Moolah** » Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:01 am

Mindbender Futurama wrote:
vinylpops wrote:
Mindbender Futurama wrote:
max prime wrote:"most reviewers are just failed rappers"
my thoughts exactly

Hmmmm...think about that one closely. Good to see it's all becoming clearer for you though.
glad you caught that one cuz that's why i did it.

i'm no failed reviewer though. i continue to have shows, make music, and i'm also signed to a record label.

people ask me to put out more music than i do.

this one dude came running up to me 2 days ago and said "Mindbender! you're the best MC in Toronto!!"... not that it's worth anything, but at least he thought so

i review music cause it's fun to be paid to think. but music critic will not be my life's biggest and best accomplishment, please believe it.

i'm one song away... and that song is about to drop

STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF, FHAYGGEIT

penguin · Post by **penguin** » Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:47 pm

mindbender... i just listened to your music.

shit is garbage