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PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 12:48 pm 
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I was brushing imaginary sand off my body the whole time.

Only read The Box Man from Abe which made me laugh and made my head spin simultaneously trying to keep up with the narrative.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 1:46 pm 
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the brothers grimsby (2016) - sacha baron cohen making some strange moves in hollywood lately. this movie was such a flop that i wasn't really checking for it. gave it a watch recently and a lot of the jokes really fell flat. however i was surprised that the action was enjoyable enough and the movie turned out to have a little bit of heart, enough to keep me invested. finally it got to several really stupid but undeniable belly laughs which made this one at least worth a watch, especially for fans of SBC.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 2:18 pm 
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War Machine (2017) - Another dull and worthless Netflix exclusive. Tone was all over the place, and the only real constant was my difficulty in taking Brad Pitt remotely seriously. The film's heavy-handed anti-war message becomes a real slog very early on. It doesn't help matters that this film lacks any real endearing qualities nor any charm in some of its more comedic scenes to alleviate the overall mess of this film. There are some major cameos peppered about and they're all squandered in this completely forgettable shite.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 3:15 pm 
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Comedy Quaddafi wrote:
I was brushing imaginary sand off my body the whole time.

Only read The Box Man from Abe which made me laugh and made my head spin simultaneously trying to keep up with the narrative.


I say in terms of making you feel very uncomfortable, the book does it much better than the movie.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 3:41 pm 
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The Mummy 2017
tom Cruise resurrect. Haven't seen any of the previous mummies was drawn in by the idea that cruise brings a certain kind of action thing and it was Tuesday. so. movies. was kinda cool. the princess is DOPE for what this movie is. fuck I wanted to be down with the princess


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 5:19 am 
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John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017) - Thought its predecessor was really overrated, but this turned out to be a massive improvement and entertaining as hell. Loved that whole Enter the Dragon homage; that shit looked fucking beautiful, too.

The Burning (1981) - Lord knows how many times I've watched this, but I never get tired of Tom Savini's awesome work in this. Had no idea the Weinsteins actually wrote the movie until now.

War on Everyone (2016) - This turned out to be a funnier movie than I initially expected. The offbeat humor and overall don't give a fuck douchebaggery gave this a real sense of identity and charm. Peña and Skarsgård were a really good double act.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 6:43 am 
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Alice in Wonderland (1933)

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 10:46 am 
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glad you liked War On Everyone Spartan, I was really fucking with it as Nice Guys' scrappier but sometimes maybe better cousin

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 12:05 pm 
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Wouldn't go as far as saying it's better than Nice Guys, but it's definitely dope regardless.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 9:11 pm 
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Mulholland Drive (2001)

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 12:38 am 
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about to light a joint of "Fire Angel" CBD strain and watch "Following" (1998 Christopher Nolan) for the first time...

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 2:55 am 
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Well that was complete mind fuck. Any similar movies as "Following" out please suggest... Absolutely amazing... Loved the black and white and the twists were excellent. Next up watching "Blood Simple" (1985), Coen Brothers first film. Then it's UFC at 1:30pst. Don't forget.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 12:38 pm 
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Mechanic: Resurrection (2016)
Film was a globe-trotting hot mess, but somewhat entertaining, regardless. Enjoyed the whole prep work required for the first two hits. I kept asking myself why couldn't we get a Hitman movie with Statham? Anyhow, Tommy Lee Jones was even more detached from this movie than in Criminal and Jessica Alba served no real purpose, other than looking fine.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 8:23 pm 
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"Easy Rider" (1969)

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 2:55 am 
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The Bad Batch - Really liked this a lot. Amirpour does an amazing job at creating this dystopian world and the characters in it. She goes out of her way to not pass judgement on her fairly flawed protagonists (and most everyone else), and although the film is getting criticized for it's lack of action I think it's hugely entertaining and beautiful to look at. I loved A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night, and this is similarly paced, so if you didn't like that movie you likely won't like this. The actors all do solid work and fit perfectly with this world except for perhaps Keanu Reeves who felt a little out of place. I did not recognize Jim Carrey in this movie at all, but he was outstanding in a limited role. I'm pretty excited for Amirpour's next movie. She clearly has a strong concept of genre and she's bringing new ideas and looks to each one she works in. 8 outta 10.

Brimstone - Extremely dark 2016/2017 and incredibly impressive western by Dutch filmmaker Martin Koolhoven that I haven't heard anyone talking about at all. Guy Pearce plays a menacing as fuck dirty preacher, and Dakota Fanning plays the woman that Pearce is hounding. Fanning is asked to do a lot here, and she more than holds her own against an always good Pearce. The non-linear story suits this movie well and doesn't come off as a tired device as it often can. It's a movie that pulls no punches, so make sure that you have something fun to do afterwards. I have to say that this is probably my favorite western of the last few years (Sup Hateful Eight and Bone Tomahawk). 8 outta 10.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 5:50 am 
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Lost hope with The Bad Batch after seeing its awful trailer. Good to hear it's quality, though. Will have to check it out.

Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
Love De Palma but I hate musicals (with the exception of The Wizard of Oz and The Wicker Man, of course) and this movie has always left me feeling conflicted. Can really appreciate all the obvious influences running rampant in this film and despite set in modern day NYC, this movie looks somewhat futuristic, but the glam rock bullshit was a massive turn-off.

Kidnapped (Secuestrados) (2010)
Finally caught this movie after all these years. Found this particularly mean-spirited and brutal, with an unexpectedly high body-count.I enjoyed it for the most part, but the ending was far too cheap and felt tacked on just for the sake of fucking with the viewer. Still, this is one of the better flicks from the mini-wave of home-invasion of that time.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 11:17 am 
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I hate glam rock with a passion but I loved the music in Phantom of the Paradise. Its exceptionally well written imo, I was pretty shocked how much I enjoyed the film as whole and it has a big part in making it all work.

I've had Brimstone on my computer for a while and haven't gotten around to it yet, going to make it a priority. I haven't heard all that much about it either.

Speaking of westerns, I got 3/4 of the way through the new Shout Factory blu-ray of Ghost Town yesterday.
Haven't seen the ending yet so I can't judge in full, but so far I'm pretty impressed.
Ghost Town isn't very well known at all as it got an extremely limited release in 1988 because it came out right as Empire Pictures was going out of business, and then hasn't been released on home video until just now.
But its very competently directed and acted and has a really cool vibe and despite its budget looks better than most westerns.
Honestly kept thinking this is what it would be like if John Carpenter directed a western in his prime (even has an extremely Carpenter-esque synthesizer score).
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 27, 2017 8:57 pm 
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that shit looks dope af... going to spark up and check it out

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 5:26 am 
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XX (2017)
Horror anthology where its selling point is a strong female perspective (have these fuckwits ever watched a horror movie?) and its filmed by women directors. All of the short films relied heavily on a smug level of vagueness than providing any respective coherent narrative. I was especially let down by Karyn Kusama since The Invitation was really good and a fine example of hipster horror done right. I can barely remember her short film here - it was that forgettable. The highlight for me was the creepy stop animated wraparound separating each film; really reminded me of Jan Švankmajer's Alice. Watch that instead!


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 9:54 pm 
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I took it back to my childhood days and did some theater-hopping. Bought a ticket to Alien: Covenant (cause it could use the money) which was thankfully on at the exact same time as Transformers: The Last Knight in IMAX for a matinee. So I paid for Alien but went to see the new Transformers movie on the biggest screen in town.

Those eviscerating Rotten Tomatoes reviews are only a MICROSCOPIC FRACTION exaggerated from how bad the movie ACTUALLY IS. I felt synapses in my brain committing seppuku for sitting in the theater willingly. The dialogue is shockingly basic, no matter how far you piss and shit and push down your standards bar. "These alien guns kick ass!" is literally a line Mark Wahlberg says, before moving on to some other irrelevant plot hole. But move on? The whole movie has this insane black hole inertia, where you feel time moving forward, but since most of the story doesn't make total sense, it feels like the movie is moving sideways in time, instead of forward. Your head will hurt seeing how much money they spent to do such. stupid. things. FOR THE FIFTH TIME. Characters are cut-out cliches from the Acting for Dummies 101. I can't remember anything unique, I just remember wavering between being mildly offended and deeply disappointed. The pacing makes you think it's trying to outslog The Two Towers. The editing manages to be a eye-rape collage of uber-slow-mo, hyperfast chopping, random gratuitous male gaze shots, stylized explosions with fireworks of smoke, and some really weird and overwrought transformations of your favorite childhood robots ripped apart and re-imagined... WORSE. Always worse.

What is its saving grace, if any? Well, honestly... there are some of the most grandiose images of Earth... being pseudo-terraformed by Cybertron in some cockamamie scheme to scrape energy from Earth because some ancient Quintesson (yeah, they went there and molested that sacred idea too) implanted something else from that 1986 classic that I won't spoil, because when you see it, your brain WILL jolt itself, trying to comprehend how MULTI-millions of dollars, hundreds of grown human beings, and incomprehensible amounts of time and energy was all directed into making an epic cinematic experience THIS FUCKING IRREDEEMABLY BRAIN DAMAGED.

There are many, many perfectly acceptable reasons to boycott, slander, spit at, throw shit at, or vomit in the general direction of Transformers: The Last Knight. The cinematic sins number far beyond a hundred. It's truly painful what it does to your cerebral cortex, as you watch it approach your face, and gleefully stab your eyes with idiocy and ignorance polished pristinely like few other relics of Americana.

But the ONE moment that makes me hate this movie's attendance in our collective ether, is when, yes: Michael Bay DID rape those words from Boyz n tha Hood, and DID put it in his insanely anachronistic revisionist rewrite of FOURTEEN HUNDRED YEARS OF HISTORY, when he had a little Black kid actually say the words: "Y'all wanna see some dead robots?" Someone laughed in incredulity and amusement in the row in front of me, and I felt both more and less alone.

It's probably the single most insulting to one's intelligence movie that can be seen in 2017.
I already know this is the case. That sloppy Will Ferrell/Amy Poehler gambling movie won't even come close. So, if you love mind-melting spectacles of special effects: watch this grandiose alien robot digi-orgy on as much acid as you can stomach. And then beg the Hollywood gods that the madness stops here.

Anthony Hopkins, I didn't think you needed money this badly. Damn, homie. Honestly, it's a really really horrible fucking movie in every way consciously conceivable. And yes, of course it's still stunningly racist and sexist, don't worry. Last words: FOR THE LOVE OF ORSON WELLES: PLEASE SOMEONE MAKE IT STOPPPPPP. KILL OPTIMUS PRIME. KILL OUR CHILDHOOD NOW :bunk:

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 11:24 am 
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Do you expect anyone expect to read that?? Or do you use it as a journal of sorts


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 30, 2017 2:26 pm 
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Transformers Last Knight 2017
I have never seen any transformers movies. so the only idea I had going in I got from watching previews for the last xyz years this franchise has been going. obviously shit was kinda dumb. but it was kinda cool too. I was clearly totally out of the framework of knowledge the movie expects you to have introducing new and presumably old characters ideas etc. it takes awhile to really get going but once it does its kinda sweet despite all the garbage. I do like the Optimus prime character. actually pretty well drawn (mind controlling dude fucking wasn't but whatever). the villains and bros were too problematic for me but maybe that's purely lack of knowledge. I also like the idea that ok so these robot dudes are hard to kill and even damage really so....

ok so while completing their main objective in the movie they don't just outright kill the bad dudes (which is kinda problematic but given the scenario actually works) they more like just finish their task which was built up a certain way etc and that is actually the most cheeseless way they could've gone into having a new movie in my opinion


so for all the dumb shit in here the writers really have figured out a decent method to continue making sequel after sequel in the most cheeseless way possible it seems


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 2:24 am 
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tehgiftofgab wrote:
Do you expect anyone expect to read that?? Or do you use it as a journal of sorts


this... this is the most long and retardedly who gives a fuck post I've ever seen... wtf Michael bay... wtf is even going on man shut up... tom cruise bro tom cruise... the guy's name is CRUISE... end of story... fuck Michael bay and fuck you

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2017 5:37 am 
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Vengeance: A Love Story (2017)
Only half way through the year, but this might very well be the worst film I've watched so far. Werner help your boy out.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 1:16 am 
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not a movie but I've been watching the untold history of the US by oliver stone on Netflix... definitely worth a watch just for a historical glance even if you don't find history to be particularly interesting... maybe i'm wrong because I do find it highly interesting but I feel it is something everyone could enjoy... almost a dense entry into how interesting and cool history really is...

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 9:40 am 
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Secuestrados gets extra props from me because of the perfect use of splitscreen and for traumatizing the audience of middle aged women who went to see it at the same screening as me, for some reason. I bet they thought they liked Spanish films because they'd seen some Almodovar and Del Toro.

The Age of Shadows (2017) - One of the best-looking actionfilms out there but possibly more interesting for people familiar with Korean history. I was a bit disengaged for the first half but the film picked up around the time of the train-scene.

Demon (2016) - A Jewish demon imposes itself on a Polish wedding. Decent Euro-horror but not completely satisfying. I have a feeling the film is much better if youre from Poland.

The Butcher (1970) - Classy French thriller about murders in a small town. This was enjoyable to me but might bore some people a bit.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 10:52 am 
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why the hell is this topic reported

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 1:27 pm 
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The gimp desecrating sacred ground, man.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 7:37 pm 
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drizzle wrote:
why the hell is this topic reported

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 06, 2017 6:17 am 
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Toni Erdmann (2016)

Put me off petit fours for life. Heard loads of great things about this movie, and for a little while, I found myself wondering whether I was watching the same film as everyone else - but then it switched gear and found its groove. Once Winfried switches persona, big changes between him and his estranged daughter, Ines take place. Loved the way the whole film slowly evolved into virtual surreal territory by the end. Toni blagging and stumbling his way from one social scene to the next reminded me of vintage Reggie Perrin and Ines turned out to be an even funnier character than her father; the whole birthday party scene is awkward comedy perfection. The film is too long, though. In hindsight, I guess it's justified to really set the journey in motion, but it demands a rewatch to really answer my one major gripe in what's otherwise a heart-warming and superb comedy drama.



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