Your favorite stand-up comedy moments

Galvatron78 · Post by **Galvatron78** » Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:55 am

- Richard Pryor explaining how Hillbillies fuck...."HANG OOOOOOOON YEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAW!!!!"

- DL Hughley back in 91' on Comic View, he literally had people scared to sit on the front row becuse he would roast everybody then it got to the point where he would walk around the crowd.

Best Quote from him in 91'

"Nigga this is the 90's what the fuck are you doin' with a got-damn Jheri Curl? Who the fuck still makes Jheri curls? I bet it's some old ass wizard in a cave casting spells to give niggz jheri curls.....that muthafuckas over a black cauldron yellin' "WIFFLE DIFFLE DOO......I'LL MAKE A JHERI CURL JUST FOR YOU!!!"

- Dane Cook actually made me laugh with the the Burger King drive thru story. "LARGE FRY MUTHAFUCKA!!!!!!!!!"

Comedy Quaddafi · Post by **Comedy Quaddafi** » Tue Nov 18, 2008 9:19 am

eddie roasting the italians when rocky came out

ALASKA · Post by **ALASKA** » Tue Nov 18, 2008 10:26 am

chapelle talking about juice.

and this one of paul f. tompkins talking about peanut brittle

http://www.zshare.net/audio/514931603064a979/

samdoom · Post by **samdoom** » Tue Nov 18, 2008 12:07 pm

eddie in delirious doin his aunt fallin down the stairs "oh lord, i'm halfway down"

Big Lurk · Post by **Big Lurk** » Tue Nov 18, 2008 12:53 pm

Richard Herring harasses a lady:

http://www.gofasterstripe.com/cgi-bin/w ... =1&id=1473

Stewart Lee baits the Scottish in Glasgow:

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Juice · Post by **Juice** » Tue Nov 18, 2008 12:59 pm

Chappelle talking about Indians

Chappelle talking about how old is 15 really

Rock talking about black people vs niggaz

Jeff Ross on the "roast of Emmitt Smith"

Jeff Ross on the" roast of Pamela Anderson" (How is it possible that Courtney Love looks worse than Kurt Cobain? ...)

Robin Williams talking about golf

Don Rickles anytime, anywhere

Comedy Quaddafi · Post by **Comedy Quaddafi** » Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:45 pm

carling pwning fat people

cascarrabias · Post by **cascarrabias** » Wed Nov 19, 2008 12:13 am

^ Fail.

Richard Pryor and his run in with the Youngstown mafia.

Chris Rock talking about Marion Barry. "Smoked crack and got his job back. You get caught smoking crack at McDonalds you don't get your job back. They don't trust you around a happy meal. Send your ass to Hardee's."

Too many Steven Wright moments to list. "I wish my first word was 'quote', so when I die I could say 'un-quote'."

Too many Carlin to list. But all of You Are All Diseased and Jammin' In New York come to mind.

Bernie Mac "You don't understand. I ain't scared of you motherfuckers. KICK IT"

Dave Chappelle and the drug dealing baby. "Hey baby. It's 3 o clock in the morning. What the fuck are you doing?" "I'm sellin weed nigga!"

Jennie C · Post by **Jennie C** » Wed Nov 19, 2008 12:17 am

John Leguizamo (sp?) talking about his deaf, gay, Puerto Rican uncle.

Prophecy · Post by **Prophecy** » Wed Nov 19, 2008 12:51 am

Chappelle talking about Sesame Street

Eddie Murphy's whole bit about the cookout at his house

Carlin's many different versions of the 7 dirty words bit

Pretty much every thing Mitch Hedberg had ever done

Eddie Murphy's Mr. T., Stevie Wonder, and Larry Holmes bits

CRASH DDZ · Post by **CRASH DDZ** » Wed Nov 19, 2008 1:51 am

You dropped your iiiice cream...

christian from austin · Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:21 am

Corey Holcomb
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Karisma · Post by **Karisma** » Wed Nov 19, 2008 1:42 pm

"I need some smack birrd"

"Getajob grooooooooouch"

"Chocolate chips dont make u act like that"

umm...

Katt Williams talking bout Rick Ross "Im Hustlin"(hahahaha shit was so on point)

Eddie Murphy on his pops "a slinky a slinky..."

Bernie Mac "him downstaiiiiiiiiiiiirs...whothefuck is HIM???"

Dave again, I want some apple drank... ITS GREEEEEEEEEEN

The Drunken Poet · Post by **The Drunken Poet** » Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:15 pm

cascarrabias wrote:
Dave Chappelle and the drug dealing baby. "Hey baby. It's 3 o clock in the morning. What the fuck are you doing?" "I'm sellin weed nigga!"

That would've been mine...My fav Chappelle moment by far.

So I'll go with Bill Hicks talking about renting both Clam Lappers and Sonic the Hedgehog at the video store. Honestly any Hicks moment, they're all great.

ALSO, Bill Hicks talking about LA crime vs. English crime..."Some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in shashbree"

GM Dizzy Skillespie · Post by **GM Dizzy Skillespie** » Wed Nov 19, 2008 4:18 pm

Karisma wrote:
Eddie Murphy on his pops "a slinky a slinky..."

Bernie Mac "him downstaiiiiiiiiiiiirs...whothefuck is HIM???"

I was just referencing that Eddie stand up two nights ago.
"if I have to pleaaaaddd to the symphony" that shit always puts a huge smile on my face.

also that entire Bernie Mac routine that's on the Kings of Comedy is my favorite thing to watch. I love when that shit is on comedy central. He fucking tears that stage up. "There's about to be some FURNITURE moving up in here"

"Galvatron 78" wrote: "Nigga this is the 90's what the fuck are you doin' with a got-damn Jheri Curl? Who the fuck still makes Jheri curls? I bet it's some old ass wizard in a cave casting spells to give niggz jheri curls.....that muthafuckas over a black cauldron yellin' "WIFFLE DIFFLE DOO......I'LL MAKE A JHERI CURL JUST FOR YOU!!!"

Radio Raheem · Post by **Radio Raheem** » Wed Nov 19, 2008 4:27 pm

Karisma · Post by **Karisma** » Thu Nov 20, 2008 6:16 pm

and Martin on runteldat when he drunk

lmmfao@him shittin on his mother in law macaroni

"U aint sposed to use pasteuriiiiiized u posed to use cheddaaaaaa, my momma taught me that"

Cash Rulz · Post by **Cash Rulz** » Thu Nov 20, 2008 6:19 pm

DeeRay on ComicView talking about pimp proofing your house and "the ghost of a bitter bitch"

Bill Burr talking about white people traveling up to Harlem. (in fact that whole standup is hilarious)

Rabbi Jihadovich · Post by **Rabbi Jihadovich** » Fri Nov 21, 2008 3:24 pm

Nobody mentioned David Cross when the Virgin Mary raped him yet.

Rabbi Jihadovich · Post by **Rabbi Jihadovich** » Fri Nov 21, 2008 3:27 pm

ohh i forgot about dave chappelle if michael jacksons saliva cures cancer, "neeeeeeeeeverrrrrrrrrr againnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"

years later i still quote and laugh about that shit.

ALASKA · Post by **ALASKA** » Fri Nov 21, 2008 3:51 pm

Rabbi Jihadovich wrote:Nobody mentioned David Cross when the Virgin Mary raped him yet.

or david cross talking about trent lott