Ongoing Seagal thread (updated with Ruslan Trailer)

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:54 pm

for one minute and four seconds i didn't breathe

ThaJim2 · Post by **ThaJim2** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:07 pm

Jefferson Parish must have the highest population of people wearing slings and cast in the world.

Trademark · Post by **Trademark** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:13 pm

blastmaster wrote:Law Man.

Here We Go.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/99E16w0PxCA&hl ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/99E16w0PxCA&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

FUCK YES. THE FUCKING COMEBACK FUCKING BEGINS. FUCK ME.

great show or greatest show?

ThaJim2 · Post by **ThaJim2** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:23 pm

Trademark wrote:
blastmaster wrote:Law Man.

Here We Go.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/99E16w0PxCA&hl ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/99E16w0PxCA&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

FUCK YES. THE FUCKING COMEBACK FUCKING BEGINS. FUCK ME.

great show or greatest show?

This promo alone makes The Wire look like According to Jim.

Trademark · Post by **Trademark** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 5:40 pm

ThaJim2 wrote:
Trademark wrote:
blastmaster wrote:Law Man.

Here We Go.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/99E16w0PxCA&hl ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/99E16w0PxCA&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

FUCK YES. THE FUCKING COMEBACK FUCKING BEGINS. FUCK ME.

great show or greatest show?
This promo alone makes The Wire look like According to Jim.

360 · Post by **360** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 7:40 pm

THAT'S RIGHT, STEVEN SEGAL IS SO BAD ASS THAT WHEN HE ISN'T WORKING ON MOVIES, HE IS A COP FOR FUN. BUT NOT A FAGGOT ASS PULL KIDS OVER FOR WEED COP, HE IS A CHASE THE DIESEL BALD HEADED TATOOED CRIMINALS WITH WEAPONS AND KICK THEIR ASS COP

blastmaster · Post by **blastmaster** » Sat Aug 22, 2009 11:17 pm

Set pic from Machete. I don't know who to look at.

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Wed Aug 26, 2009 4:18 pm

oh no

Genuine faggots m i rite?

A&E has been planning a reality TV series based around the police work of action star, bluesman and Louisiana deputy sheriff Steven Seagal that is set to air later this year. Now the show is at the center of a legal dispute.

A federal lawsuit was filed on Monday by A&E against Genuine Entertainment over claims the latter company made suggesting their idea for STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN was stolen by the cable network.

Genuine had originally pitched the idea for the reality show to A&E back in 2007. Part of the original pitch, believe it or not, was to put Seagal together with Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris. In their lawsuit, A&E claims their ideas for the show differed from what Genuine came up with.

In the suit, A&E claims Genuine was demanding money and threatening legal action. A&E is seeking a court declaration clearing them of any breach of contract or involvement with Genuine.

Trademark · Post by **Trademark** » Wed Aug 26, 2009 4:28 pm

drizzle wrote:oh no

Genuine faggots m i rite?

A&E has been planning a reality TV series based around the police work of action star, bluesman and Louisiana deputy sheriff Steven Seagal that is set to air later this year. Now the show is at the center of a legal dispute.

A federal lawsuit was filed on Monday by A&E against Genuine Entertainment over claims the latter company made suggesting their idea for STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN was stolen by the cable network.

Genuine had originally pitched the idea for the reality show to A&E back in 2007. Part of the original pitch, believe it or not, was to put Seagal together with Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck Norris. In their lawsuit, A&E claims their ideas for the show differed from what Genuine came up with.

In the suit, A&E claims Genuine was demanding money and threatening legal action. A&E is seeking a court declaration clearing them of any breach of contract or involvement with Genuine.

god would not let such a thing happen. The CEO of Genuine might already be dead.

rooski · Post by **rooski** » Wed Aug 26, 2009 4:59 pm

How is Attack Force? I saw it last night and remembered this thread, but rented The Transporter instead.

blastmaster · Post by **blastmaster** » Wed Aug 26, 2009 5:30 pm

If Lawman doesn't make it to air, I will murder an infinite number of Jews.

Attack Force is out there, but solid. Not what you would expect, but typical Euro-Seagal at the same time.

rooski · Post by **rooski** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 5:11 pm

blastmaster wrote:Attack Force is out there, but solid. Not what you would expect, but typical Euro-Seagal at the same time.

Cool. They didn't have it when I went back, but I'll get it next time. Got Driven to Kill instead.

rooski · Post by **rooski** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 6:56 pm

drizzle wrote: there's a short shot where they show a close up of what he's writing, i'm dying to pause that and read it

This is all I could make out (typos, grammatical errors, etc are Seagal's)

"houses kitty-corner to his position. The houses directly across were blocked by the knoll, thankfully.

Searching out the darkest place under the tree immediately to his right, Clint removed the rifle from his parka and loaded in all five rounds. Wrapping the sling around his left arm he propped himself against the tree's trunk for stability and started to breathe deeply, slowly, consciously. After a few breaths he brought his eye to the scope and took a look through. The scope magnified his targets to five times their normal size. An officer's body pretty much filled the. making target acquisition an easy thing

The crosshairs slid up and down the officer's body as Clint continued to breath in and out slowly. He never even considered lining up on any of the other officers. This was the one in charge that much was clear. The body language of the other officers was deferential to him as he stood smoking a cigarette.

Methodicaly Clint emptied his mind and thought only of his breathing. Forcing it into a smooth cadence. In...Hold..Out...over and over. Without making a conscious decisio to take the shot Cling held his breath half way through his latest exhale and lined up on his target. His trigger finger slowly squeezed the trigger until he could feel the sear about to break. No thought now, just visuals. Crosshairs on center of face, hand coming into frame with the smoke, inhaling.

The sear broke, the rifle let go and the officer hit the ground, dead"

This movie was my first exposure to Seagal and I gotta say I was impressed.

"The trick was just to not give a fuck."

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 6:59 pm

rooski wrote: This movie was my first exposure to Seagal and I gotta say I was impressed.

you've never seen any other segal, ever?

thanks for the transcription btw, pretty much everythign i hoped for and more

rooski · Post by **rooski** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:02 pm

drizzle wrote:
rooski wrote: This movie was my first exposure to Seagal and I gotta say I was impressed.
you've never seen any other segal, ever?

thanks for the transcription btw, pretty much everythign i hoped for and more

None. I've never really watched any action movies. I'm not sure why I never watched them before other than I'm an asshole.

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:04 pm

you're like jodie foster in that one movie where she's raised by crash ddz in the woods or something and can only talk in wolf language

blastmaster · Post by **blastmaster** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:30 pm

rooski wrote:
drizzle wrote:
rooski wrote: This movie was my first exposure to Seagal and I gotta say I was impressed.
you've never seen any other segal, ever?

thanks for the transcription btw, pretty much everythign i hoped for and more
None. I've never really watched any action movies. I'm not sure why I never watched them before other than I'm an asshole.

Jesus. Go rent Out For Justice immediately.

rooski · Post by **rooski** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 9:45 pm

They did not have Out for Justice to rent but they had it for sale. Bought it.

blastmaster · Post by **blastmaster** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 10:10 pm

Excellent.

Hard To Kill, Marked For Death and Above The Law should be next on your list. Then Glimmer Man, Fire Down Below, On Deadly Ground, Under Siege 1 & 2, Exit Wounds, Urban Justice and Pistol Whipped. The everything else. I envy you for the journey you are about to take.

blastmaster · Post by **blastmaster** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 10:18 pm

By the way, Steven will be playing a villainous drug lord in Machete.

the brow · Post by **the brow** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 11:10 pm

Jefferson Parish? LOL. I'd wager 25% of his fan base lives there.

Seagal and Kenner/Metairie/Gretna are a match made in heaven.

blastmaster · Post by **blastmaster** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 11:17 pm

Lakeside Hospital had to build a new ward specifically for broken wrists.

the brow · Post by **the brow** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 11:43 pm

I was born at Lakeside Hospital.

ThaJim2 · Post by **ThaJim2** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:56 am

blastmaster wrote:Excellent.

Hard To Kill, Marked For Death and Above The Law should be next on your list. Then Glimmer Man, Fire Down Below, On Deadly Ground, Under Siege 1 & 2, Exit Wounds, Urban Justice and Pistol Whipped. The everything else. I envy you for the journey you are about to take.

I would also add Belly of the Beast, Today you Die, and Mercenary for Justice to the second tier. Avoid Against the Dark what sounded rad on paper sucked in reality, Seagal was meant to hurt and kill humans not fictitious monsters. If you are in the mood Executive Decision but be prepared to cry. Also, if you want some good mood music I would suggest tracking down Songs from the Crystal Cave.

I do envy you rooski being able to discover Seagal. Sometimes I wish I went into a coma for 7 years just so I can experience Above the Law and Hard to Kill for the first time again.

ThaJim2 · Post by **ThaJim2** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:04 am

blastmaster wrote:By the way, Steven will be playing a villainous drug lord in Machete.

I don't see how this is going to work. Its a hollywood movie how are they going to get away with the a drug lord killing the name sake of the movie?

Moolah · Post by **Moolah** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 4:03 am

rooski wrote:
drizzle wrote:
rooski wrote: This movie was my first exposure to Seagal and I gotta say I was impressed.
you've never seen any other segal, ever?

thanks for the transcription btw, pretty much everythign i hoped for and more
None. I've never really watched any action movies. I'm not sure why I never watched them before other than I'm an asshole.

Reason · Post by **Reason** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:53 pm

name of seagal movie in which he gets fondled underneath hospital sheets by a nurse???? he was in a coma

quick!

drizzle · Post by **drizzle** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:54 pm

hard to kill

Reason · Post by **Reason** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:20 pm

AW MAN that movie was fucked up. didn't they kill his wife and shit and he grew the coma beard afterwards?

this man is a god

rooski · Post by **rooski** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:54 pm

They had the used DVDs on sale (BOGO$1) at this local spot so I grabbed the four Seagal movies I saw.

Driven to Kill
Belly of the Beast
Kill Switch
Attack Force

They have virtually no Seagal for rent around here, but it looks like his movies are pretty cheap so that's good.