Artie Lange Hospitalized

Stoop Kid · Post by **Stoop Kid** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:49 pm

He's not as sharp as he used to be.

arlene · Post by **arlene** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 5:38 pm

wicked sad

Lance Goodthrust · Post by **Lance Goodthrust** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 6:07 pm

Employee wrote:He almost ruins the show. Howard is a nice guy for carrying this sack of shit around.

Bullshit. He has been the most consistently funny part of the show in the last few years. When he's sharp and into the show he carries things.

This has ruined my day. Hope he gets himself better.

Employee · Post by **Employee** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 6:09 pm

Lance Goodthrust wrote:
Employee wrote:He almost ruins the show. Howard is a nice guy for carrying this sack of shit around.
Bullshit. He has been the most consistently funny part of the show in the last few years. When he's sharp and into the show he carries things.

This has ruined my day. Hope he gets himself better.

Puuuhhhhlllllleaaaaaasssseee. Lange is not as funny as people make him out to be. Not even close. His entire schtick is drug use and obesity. Only about 3,000 have done the same thing before him.

Remove heroin and Krispy Kreme from the planet and Artie Lange is a truck driver in New Jersey.

YouTube · Post by **Philaflava** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 7:13 pm

^ maybe but he is quick witted and is better than you give him credit for on the show. you haven't listened to the show in a long time to give a fair assessment. as a stand-up artie is not very good, that i'll admit.

arlene · Post by **arlene** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 7:15 pm

artie is a master at pulling these obscure but on point references out and its hilarious every single time. i find him hysterical

Employee · Post by **Employee** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 7:15 pm

Philaflava wrote:^ maybe but he is quick witted and is better than you give him credit for on the show. you haven't listened to the show in a long time to give a fair assessment. as a stand-up artie is not very good, that i'll admit.

I've seen him live at a casino and it was the worst fucking comedy show I've ever been to. He is fucking beyond terrible.

arlene · Post by **arlene** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 7:42 pm

oh his stand up is hot steamy garbage but he was hilarious on the show.

dat piff · Post by **dat piff** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 8:52 pm

Jim Norton >>>>>>> Artie Lange

darkwingduck · Post by **darkwingduck** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 9:13 pm

Blockhead wrote:He's on some<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GZy277zUECk&hl ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GZy277zUECk&hl=ja_JP&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

type shit.

fixed

Verge · Post by **Verge** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 9:21 pm

dat piff wrote:Jim Norton >>>>>>> Artie Lange

Shit, even Anthony from O n A>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Artie

Verge · Post by **Verge** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 9:31 pm

I don't hate Artie though.
He's been funny in the past. Not his stand up, of course.

I just can't imagine how really fucked in the head he is to do this.
Shit don't make sense.
If your fat slob frankie valli loving dopefiend creep and wanna kill yourself,
do more dope, dummy.
Or a couple of bottles of Valiums.

Something like this would sound more like a scream for attention and
help, but 9 times? Deep?

I can't call it.

Psychosis · Post by **Psychosis** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:05 pm

Has Stern commented yet on this on his show?

reevolution · Post by **reevolution** » Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:34 pm

Well, Vince Welnick slit his throat in front of his wife (and died, of course), and I thought that was harsh.

But how the fuck do you stab yourself not only more than once, but NINE times?

Jesus.

Raphael De La Ghetto · Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:03 am

Psychosis wrote:Has Stern commented yet on this on his show?

Yeah, he talked about it on the show today. Basically just reminisced about artie and talked about how shitty the situation was. Basically talkd about it for about 10 minutes and then let it slide for the time being.

YouTube · Post by **Philaflava** » Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:35 am

Employee wrote:
Philaflava wrote:^ maybe but he is quick witted and is better than you give him credit for on the show. you haven't listened to the show in a long time to give a fair assessment. as a stand-up artie is not very good, that i'll admit.
I've seen him live at a casino and it was the worst fucking comedy show I've ever been to. He is fucking beyond terrible.

Yeah his show was really underwhelming. Rev. Bob Levy puts on a better show.

uxpsi · Post by **uxpsi** » Mon Jan 11, 2010 1:51 pm

I thought his show was pretty decent but he handled the mic like an amateur so a couple of the jokes only the front row could hear. His openers are good except that guy from Beer League who is fucking awful

Employee · Post by **Employee** » Mon Jan 11, 2010 5:15 pm

http://www.mediaite.com/columnists/arti ... ard-stern/

Artie Lange Might Be Done For Good On Howard Stern
by Ash Kalb | 2:08 pm, January 11th, 2010

Will Artie Lange ever return to The Howard Stern Show? It seems less and less likely that Howard Sternגs comedian sidekick will ever return to the Sirius/XM satellite radio broadcast, which airs Monday through Thursday mornings and is available to over 20 million satellite radio subscribers.

Lange, who has a long history of drinking, drug abuse and depression (comedic gold!), has been absent from the show since well before the new year. Until last Thursday, there was little on-air discussion of the reason for his absence, but followers of the show know that when Artie is missing work, it is usually a sign of impending bad news for the chronically troubled comic. Past relapses into heroin addiction and previous episodes of depression and other troubles have usually started the same way.

When the story broke last week, however, that Lange had been hospitalized after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt Stern broke his silence to offer his thoughts on the news, and the fact that Langeגs troubles had in fact been made public.

Saying גI donגt know what to do in this situation; thereגs nothing to doג¦ Artieגs demons run deeper than I ever knew,ג Stern found himself unable to tell the story describing Langeגs suicide attempt on the air Thursday morning, which, according to Langeגs bestselling book גToo Fat to Fish,ג was not his first.

What was perhaps most notable, however, in Sternגs comments on Langeגs latest crisis, is that for the first time Stern was talking about Langeגs time on the show in the past tense: גYou could make a list of all the things Artie contributed to this show,ג Stern said. Later he added:
The reason that I hired Artie Is because right away from day oneג¦ He came inג¦ He was a fan of the show so he knew the showג¦ He fit himself in a way that was inobtrusive [sic].ג
Talking about Artieגs time on the show as something in the past signals change of tone, as in the previous weeks Stern had indicated that for all he knew Lange had not quit the show, joking more than once that he was leaving Artieגs microphone on, Elijah the prophet style, in case he happened to show up.

There is not much time left, however, for Artie to recover and get back to work, if in fact he is still welcome. This is the last year of Sternגs current contract with Sirius, and he has been grumbling for months about not returning. Whether this is just of the King of All Mediaגs standard on-air negotiation tactics or a signal that a change is coming is yet to be seen.

What is clear, however, is that Artieגs empty seat is asking to be filled. Stern even joked briefly about asking Langeגs much maligned predecessor, Jackie Martling, to sit in before he thought better of it.

It seems likely, however, that given the trajectory of his general well-being and Sternגs almost funereal tone when discussing the topic, that he will not be back:
גI donגt want this to sound like a eulogy, by the way. Artieגs alive. It was a suicide attemptג¦ I just had great admiration for Artieגs talent and the way he fit into the show. I figure if artie want to talk to me heגs gonna call meג¦ I donגt know whatגs gonna beג¦ Iגm upset. Iגve been down about it. ג
Maybe Robin Quivers, Sternגs long time co-host, said it best: גA lot of times we are the first people to tell people of others tragediesג¦ This is what its like when its happening to you. You donגt want to talk about it.ג

Cowy · Post by **Cowy** » Mon Jan 11, 2010 5:38 pm

Seen him live as well and he just told the same stories from his book and jokes he used on Conan a couple weeks earlier and shit. Was fucking awful and the Stern fanboys were eating it up.

Still like him overall though, but yea his standup blows. I'd assume he was a lot better years ago?

YouTube · Post by **Philaflava** » Mon Jan 11, 2010 5:44 pm

There are people that are funny, then there are good comedians. Artie is a funny guy. A guy you can laugh at with at a bar while he spews some low brow jokes. He is a good fit on the show because he is extremely quick witted and it really works on the show.

But as a comedian he is a hack. Rehashed stories and poor attempts to capitalize on Stern humor and wack pack related stories. Bill Maher, funny guy to an extent. Honest funny, but a horrible stand-up and not so funny off his show.