CTR LEGACY THREAD
Moderators: TheBigSleep, stype_ones, Philaflava
Re: Just Hope for the Worst
WOW and double WOW. I thought this was incredible, and the above part sums up exactly how I'm feeling these days.Nowell's Soul wrote: So I sleep all day and like I've lost my wings
When I get lost I'm always just a little bit scared
I see things I know, but I've got nothing to share,
And if you want what I've got, I'll surely give it to you
I value nothing in this life cause nothing's really beautiful.
I whisper to the wind, I see my voice fly away
It'll come back in the future, I hope, someday.
Great work, thanks for sharing. It's nice to know you're not stuck here alone sometimes.
hopps wrote:i also think mindbender wastes way too much time on this message board. i think he should never come here again. seriously, man.
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Re: Just Hope for the Worst
Thanks for checking, axel. I'm glad you picked up on the mood, because it goes back and forth so much.axel foley wrote::shock:
i liked this man. i think like this sometimes; i try not to but everyone gets those days. the mood oozes of apathy, complacency, and mediocrity. i dunno, i'ma have to read this again. i liked this a lot though man. stay up.
Thanks for always checkin', homie.BeHemoth wrote:good stuff, Nowell.
Props. My favorite thing about the feedback on this board, is that it all comes from other dope writers.hired gun wrote:^^^
what that man said. feel that.
Much appreciated, man. You also fall into the comment mentioned above.HopeLess wrote:Uh huh. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
Keep smashin' Nowell...This was ill...real..."dreamy" feel to this...kind of like you could float on it. Dope shit.
I totally understand what you're talking about. All writing could benefit from some solid revisions, there are some holes I should fill in, it's cool to drop feedback even if you aren't feeling it completely.360 wrote:this was ok. not really that fly, though. well, not as ill as other pieces ive read from u. also, u would say one thing in one section and then contradict it with a line in an other section. thats cool if u intended to do it. i dont know, seems like u didnt put your all into this one.
Thank you, the fact you can relate puts things in perspective for me, writing these pieces as well. Stay up Jen.Jen wrote:WOW and double WOW. I thought this was incredible, and the above part sums up exactly how I'm feeling these days.Nowell's Soul wrote: So I sleep all day and like I've lost my wings
When I get lost I'm always just a little bit scared
I see things I know, but I've got nothing to share,
And if you want what I've got, I'll surely give it to you
I value nothing in this life cause nothing's really beautiful.
I whisper to the wind, I see my voice fly away
It'll come back in the future, I hope, someday.
Great work, thanks for sharing. It's nice to know you're not stuck here alone sometimes.
Flow was there and I could picture it being delivered but the repitition in the piece about how you live was annoying to me, almost like the repitition of a gangsta rapper talking about his grill. The rest of the piece was straight though, a simple rhyme scheme kept that "dreamy" feel that was mentioned earlier, and you managed to be reflective and deep without becoming too abstract.
blah
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Re: Straw Villages
:jumpjoint::jumpjoint::jumpjoint:BeHemoth wrote:Timmy got some big plans, on the gimme, gimme
but don't make no cents(sense) like fat chicks with small titties
actin all giddy..........
:jumpjoint:
its all academic.........let the fire walk with you
down that thin line where I write my name in scar tissue
:jumpjoint:
i'm tryin to hold up and make it big like wonder bras
but I can't stick to it like magnets in a lumberyard
there's blood on my hands, I know how a broken heart tastes
holed up in a dark place, showin off my shark face
it's holdin me down and it won't stop the madness
hold me up cause I'm fallin, don't hold me up to your standards
that was really good.
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The Man In Black (Part 1)
I'm mourning what we lost inside the core of rhymin'
cause I lost good friends in the midst of what we glorifyin'
bein
cause I lost good friends in the midst of what we glorifyin'
bein
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the priest made me do it (the beautiful princess)
The priest made me do it
the dutiful priest with beautiful niece
i i pursued her to the pew where she sang hymns on beautiful knees
but truly it seems that she
the dutiful priest with beautiful niece
i i pursued her to the pew where she sang hymns on beautiful knees
but truly it seems that she
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